Valentine’s Day is a reminder to express love openly, to say the things we often keep inside, to show care in ways that matter. It is a day filled with messages, gifts, and public displays of affection, but love does not begin or end on Valentine’s Day. Real love lives in everyday moments, and it involves being present, choosing each other, laughing together, and staying even when it is not convenient. Beyond the celebration, love is about consistency, peace, and effort.

For our Valentine’s issue, we shine our spotlight on Ikechukwu Sunday Okonkwo, popularly known as Cross Da Boss, a Nigerian entrepreneur, fitness enthusiast, and reality TV star who rose to fame as a Top 6 finalist on Big Brother Naija Season 6 (Shine Ya Eye), and his heartthrob, Chinonso Okonkwo nee Onyebuchi, a digital creator and a fashion entrepreneur. The couple married in December last year, sealing a love story years in the making. Their journey began as friendship; trying, separating, returning, and finally choosing each other fully. Built on faith, understanding, and quality time, their relationship is rooted in peace, learning, and a deep sense of belonging.

In this interview with THEWILL DOWNTOWN’s Dorcas Akintoye, Cross and Chinonso discuss their journey from friendship to marriage, the peace they felt during their traditional wedding, and what love truly looks like behind closed doors. They speak honestly about learning from each other, the work marriage requires, the role of faith in their union, and why love goes far beyond Valentine’s Day.

CROSS

During your traditional wedding, when you saw Chinonso being formally presented or welcomed into your family, what emotions hit you first? Did you feel proud, nervous, or something deeper?

That is a very interesting question.  Honestly, I had this ‘finally, at last’ feeling, because, me and my wife’s story has been a love story for many, many years. We met as friends. We tried, but it didn’t work. We became friends again. We tried to make it work again. It didn’t work. And now, for the third time, it worked. So, it was like, oh, my goodness. So, finally, you’re mine, and I’m yours. So, that emotion is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Because I felt at last, finally, I’ve come to a peace, a rest where I can finally say, oh, you’re mine, and I’m yours. The joy was over the moon. Yeah. It was just a very joyful, peaceful emotion.

Valentine’s Day is all about love in action. What’s one way you make her feel loved every day, even when there’s no special occasion?

I would say being around her and just making her smile is something that I actually do. And it’s something that she really loves. You know, touching, kissing, laughing, things she loves. It’s not a thing of a specific day. I think that’s something she really loves hearing and doing every day.

Marriage is a partnership. How do you balance your public life, business, and fame while keeping your marriage strong?

Well, I think it’s knowing that I have a father, who is Christ Jesus, as a centre of my life, and also her life as well. So, it helps us maintain a grounded mindset, knowing that we have a leader, Christ Jesus, and that we try as much as possible to follow His lead. And also, knowing that my life as a celebrity doesn’t come between us. Like, I try to separate them as much as possible. But once we’re inside the house, once we’re together, there is nothing like celebrity. It’s always a clean, clear vibe. And also the fact that we actually work together. And now, thank God, she’s actually into content-creating and also into fashion. She’s into tech as well. She’s a consultant for a FinTech company as well. So, she already knows what creating content is, which helps me as well. So, it’s more or less like we have a few things to talk about when we talk about creating content. But she’s not always 100% ready because she’s a female. So, she gets tired because this is not her life. But she has been learning that for the past one or two years. So, yeah, I think I’m helping her blend her normal life with accepting that she married a celebrity. But, yeah, it’s been good, and it’s been great so far.

If you could describe your first month of marriage in one word, what would it be, and why?

I think it has been very teaching and educative. Our lives have been very educational. We’re learning so much about each other. We’re learning about each other’s love languages. We’re learning each other’s mood. We’re learning each other’s way of living together, and things like that. So, it’s important to always know this about your partner. I’ll say it’s been successful so far, especially the fact that we’re just into it one month. And the fact is that she’s my best friend. I really love her so much. So, I’m always willing and ready to keep learning and keep understanding who she is and what she is. Because at the end of the day, she’s going to be the mother of my children. So, I need to also, like, learn to live and understand her as much as she can learn and understand me as well. Because it’s a human being coming together with a new human being and becoming one, sometimes there can be a lot of friction because human beings can have different patterns, different ways of living. But having to become one, or you have to, like, change your ways, become better, do this, do that, do this. It’s a lot of work. I would tell anybody who wants to get into marriage that it’s a lot of work. You’ve got to put in a lot of work. If you think it’s going to be simple, and that just saying ‘I love you’ can solve issues, no, it doesn’t work that way. Because these are, like, human emotions and people’s energy you’re bringing in. So, there’s a lot of work you have to put in to make sure that you’re successful and living a happy life and a happy marriage.

Looking at Chinonso now, what is one quality about her that surprised you after getting married, something you didn’t fully see before?

I think it’s just the fact that she’s so beautiful. I think I never knew how beautiful she is. I think that’s what surprised me. Like, I feel she’s very beautiful. She’s very sexy. She has a very demure spirit. So, I think it’s something that surprised me. I don’t think I’ve seen anything yet. Maybe ask me again in six months or one year’s time. Maybe I’ll find out. But, so far, that’s what I can say.

 

CHINONSO

During your traditional wedding, when you were formally welcomed into Cross’s family, what went through your heart? How did it feel to take that step into married life?

I was happy. It wasn’t like I was going to a new place; it was just going to a familiar one, but it was also a bittersweet moment because I literally saw myself leaving my dad’s house in a car for another house, and that’s it. But if it was my emotions and if I were to remove my family from the picture, I would say I just felt familiar. It was something that I was familiar with, so I would say peace, and I didn’t feel nervous or anything.

Valentine’s Day can feel like a performance. For you, what does real love or romance look like beyond social media posts?

I would say quality time. For me, spending time with him and just us in the house interacting and doing different activities we do at home is what works for me, and then posting it after. Then probably the performance would be going out for dinner, which is not bad, going out for dinner, and posting it. But initially, I think for both of us, it’s the quality time we spend just together without anything or anyone.

Being a wife and a woman with her own dreams can be challenging. How do you make space for both in your life?

I just started the journey. But in general, from what I’ve learned, because I have sisters who have been married for years, 10 years, 15, 20. I have older, mostly older friends who are married, and from the one month I’ve been married, I would say that I think it depends on the type of partner you have as well. I think for Cross, he has always been the type of person to even push me to the point I’m just like, okay, calm down. So, because we already have a friendship and he’s always looking out for me, it makes it easier to balance because, as I said, there’s no conflict or tension when I want to do this and also be a wife. So, I think as much as possible, choose someone that you’re comfortable with, and you’re friends with, and basically supports you. It will make it easier.

What has been the most unexpectedly beautiful or funny moment in your first month of marriage?

Honestly, I would say it’s more external than internal. As I said, I’ve known him for a while, so nothing is shocking to me that I haven’t seen before in the house and everything. So, I think it’s external. I was not a social person; I was not out there. I was like an introvert, internal with my own thing, especially during my 9-5 days, and just minding my business. So, the love that I experienced from the engagement to everything we did, it was just like people were so happy for him, and he transmitted that to me, and I received so many prayers. I would say, even when I go out, people still say congratulations, and it’s still new to me. And I think that’s the only thing that I need to get used to because it’s not something I’m used to. But it’s not a bad thing, it’s just unfamiliar ground. So, I would say externally, the virality of how everything went.  I knew he was a celebrity. I knew he was known, but I didn’t know it would go to the level it did. At least for me, it was something new, but yeah, I’m dealing with it.

If someone is looking at your marriage and wants what you have, what is the most important truth about love they need to understand?

I would say no one should want what anybody has. There are so many things that people online go through to make their relationship look good. So, want what God has destined for you, and he’ll give you the ways to keep it and flourish it. I think the love statement I stand on is the one from the Bible, which says love is kind and patient. I don’t think you can exhaust that because, as human beings, it’s not easy to be kind when you’re angry or to be patient when you’re overwhelmed. So, it’s something both of us keep going back to and try to meditate on because that’s the only way, and that’s the real, true love. That’s like love from God. So, it’s the only baseline that won’t be corrupted. For me, it’s just going back to that scripture and trying as much as possible to keep doing, even if you’re failing and getting up. For anyone who is looking for love, not for the love that we have, but a love that God has for them, you should start from that scripture which says love is kind, love is, you know, the different things that are stated, and just be there, and God will bring you out and flourish it.

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Dorcas Akintoye is a versatile writer with a passion for beauty, fashion, relationships, and culinary delight. With a keen eye for detail and a passion for storytelling, she adds a touch of elegance to every topic she explores. She is a writer at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.