I squirmed in heightened anticipation as I woke up from my erotic dream. I opened my eyes only to find myself lying on the bed, my body tingling with the residual sensation of the dream. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart, until I realised that the only person who could bring my erotic fantasies to fruition was nowhere around me.
My clitoris awakened as I suddenly felt inside of me, this deep throbbing begging to be deliciously pleasured. I decided to take matters into my hands as the throbbing between my legs grew intense. I slide my hand down my body, using my fingers to trace a path along my stomach until they reach the source of my arousal.
I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan as I began to explore my clitoris with my fingertips. I started with slow, circular movements, building tension with each pass.
As the pleasure grew, I increased the speed and pressure of my touch, feeling the pleasure build with every stroke. I focused all my attention on the sensation, my body writhing with pleasure as the tension built toward its peak.
The sensation became too much for me to bear; I let out a cry of ecstasy as the orgasm washed over me. I felt my body convulse with pleasure as my fingers were still working to prolong the experience.
Wanting more, I pulled my fingers out, reached into the bedside drawer, and took out my dildo. I smiled as I retrieved my favourite pink dildo from the drawer. I ran the dildo along my inner thigh, teasing myself with the sensation of the smooth, cool material against my skin. I took a deep breath and slowly slid it inside me, feeling the fullness and pressure against my walls.
I experimented with different speeds and angles, finding the perfect rhythm that would take me higher and higher. The dildo filled me, and I felt my body responding to its touch.
As the pleasure grew, I increased the speed and pressure of my movements, feeling the tension building toward its peak. My moans filled the air as I lost myself in the pleasure, my body writhing and pulsing with every thrust. I grabbed a pillow to muffle out the loudness of my moans.
I cried out as the orgasm washed over me, splattering delicious cum on my dildo. I lay there on the bed, panting and exhausted from my deeply delicious escapade. I took a moment to catch my breath. I could feel my body alive with pleasure, every nerve ending tingling with sensation.
I smiled to myself as I surveyed the scene around me. My bed was a mess of tangled sheets and a discarded sex toy, a testament to the pleasure I had just experienced.
With a satisfied sigh, I lean over and switch off my pink dildo, setting it aside on the bedside table.
I felt the last echoes of pleasure fade away as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
As I lay there, basking in the afterglow, I wasn’t sure if I was doing the wrong or right thing. The thought of Steven catching me with the sex toy sent a shiver down my spine. I knew that what I was doing could be considered cheating, but I had to do something since I wasn’t sexually satisfied in my marriage with Steven.
I had always known Steven to be a devout Christian, and I respected his beliefs. During our courtship days, Steven had made it clear that he believed in waiting until marriage before having sex. Even though it was difficult for me, I had agreed to his wishes and waited patiently.
After we got married, I discovered that Steven was not interested in exploring different sex styles. He preferred the missionary position, and anything beyond that was considered sinful and not in line with his faith. At first, I tried to accept Steven’s beliefs, but as time passed, I felt frustrated and unfulfilled. I had needs and desires that Steven seemed unwilling to fulfil.
I had tried to talk to Steven about my needs and desires, but he never seemed to understand. He would shut down the conversation, insisting that what I was asking for was sinful and not in line with God’s plan. Apart from that, if he was not busy with church, he would be busy with work; he was always too tired to make time for me, leaving me sexually frustrated and alone.
I couldn’t help but wonder why churches had such a negative view of sex. The church’s teachings have always been clear – sex before marriage was a sin, and even within marriage, certain sexual practices were considered taboo and sinful. I imagined how these teachings had left many couples feeling ashamed and guilty about their natural desires and needs, making them unable to explore and express themselves fully.
Steven believed in those teaching; he was closed off to my needs and desires, dismissing them as ungodly and wrong. I longed for more intimacy and connection with him, but his rigid beliefs about sex made it impossible for me to do so.
It was becoming unbearable for me, and I had to do something. That was how I started using sex toys to fill the gap. At first, sex toys felt like a taboo that went against everything I had been taught, but as I explored different toys and sensations, I felt more alive and connected to my desires and needs.
It’s been nine months now, and the only way left for me to explore and find the pleasure I had been missing is by using sex toys, but lately, the guilt and fear of being caught were beginning to haunt me.
Lost in thought, I lay there on the bed, and I wondered if I could find a way to discuss my desires with Steven so that he would understand and not judge me. Maybe there was a way I could save my marriage and, at the same time, find the sexual satisfaction that I craved.
I decided to keep my secret, hoping he would not find out. For the main time, I decided to continue exploring my body and find the pleasure I needed, even if it meant doing them in secret. At least, it was better than cheating on him with another man.
As I drifted off to sleep, I knew the road ahead would be difficult, but I was determined to find a way to be true to myself and discover the happiness I deserved.
Dorcas Akintoye is a dedicated writer with more than 2 years prolific experience in writing articles ranging from food, entertainment, fashion and beauty. She has a National Diploma in Mass Communication from Kwara State Polytechnic, Ilorin. She loves writing, listening to music and playing scrabble. She is a highly-skilled, enthusiastic, selfmotivated professional writer.