Women sometimes feel pressure to perform in a certain way in bed or meet unknown standards. And so many of them wish they could read their man’s mind when in bed with them, especially when it’s their first time being intimate. To save yourself from the stress, you can always sit down and talk with your man about what you both like in bed before hopping in the sack.

So we interviewed five men and asked them to tell us what they love and hate in bed. Even though they all chose to be anonymous, their answers were intriguing. Interestingly, although these men were between the ages of 25 and 53, almost all admitted to needing their partner to show signs of enjoying what they were doing to them. They felt pressure to perform because of a lack of communication between the sheets.

Two or three admitted to wanting the woman to dominate them in bed. Two of them admitted to hating bonnets in bed; I couldn’t agree more. Here’s what they had to say.

Men in Their 20s

“I love it so much when a girl completely dominates me. It’s funny how you can get to know someone by how they have sex, more like their athleticism. You will know if they are lazy or outgoing. I cannot stay in a relationship where a girl will be too shy to get on top; it’s kind of weird to me— our sex life would not be 50/50.”

“I hate it when my girl touches my balls; I detest it. Although all of my guy friends love it; like, it makes them go nuts, but not me. Stay away.”

“Hearing her breathing in my ear or moaning when being on top of her is my biggest turn-on. That’s how I know if I am hitting the right spot. But if she is bitter and not responding to my touches, it’s a no-no for me.”

“When a girl slaps my ass, I find it kind of weird. Slapping my ass is not painful; it’s just that I am at a point where it doesn’t make me laugh. And when I try to laugh about it, it kills the mood.”

40-something-year-old

“Fuck my mind, make love to my soul and turn off my brain. I find pleasure in my partner having pleasure. Many men can detect fake responses but have to choose if it jives with their fantasy from their partner or not. Sapiosexuals want smartness and authenticity; these are the first turn-ons.

However, as a guy, I keep finding things that turn me on as I exist. I can’t stand when she makes no effort, bein or synthetic wigs— it suffocates me. Another thing that is a major turn-off is looking totally unsexy with a bonnet and nightgown.

I get turned on with involvement—taking and giving commands, giving me cues without saying them. No rush me abeg. Kiss me, push me, pulls. Ear tug, little bites, and playing with each other. Sometimes a risque location. All in all: SPONTANEITY!!!!!”

50-something-year-old

“Long foreplay and kissing. I love to caress. But I want to know what she likes, so I need her to express it somehow without it coming over as an instruction–guiding my hands, moaning, grinding.

She has to show mutual interest. One-sided desire is not fun.

I like it when she is partially undressed, you know, leave something to the imagination. A t-shirt with no bra on. A body-fitted dress with no panties.

She must not wait to be told before she does the right thing; lack of personal hygiene kills the mood.

And bonnets and hairnets are a no-no! The more fun I think she’s having, the more intense the experience for me. That’s what I get off pleasing my partner.”

Dorcas Akintoye
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Dorcas Akintoye is a versatile writer with a passion for beauty, fashion, relationships, and culinary delight. With a keen eye for detail and a passion for storytelling, she adds a touch of elegance to every topic she explores. She is a writer at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.