In a deeply moving and intimate cover story for Harper’s Bazaar’s April 2024 issue, award-winning actress and director Regina King speaks candidly about the profound influence her late son, Ian Alexander Jr., continues to have on her life and work. Her raw and vulnerable reflections explore the complexities of grief, the enduring nature of a mother’s love, and the ways in which our losses continue to shape who we become.

Regina King doesn’t shy away from the raw, heart-wrenching nature of her experiences following Ian’s tragic death by suicide in January 2022. Sharing how her perspective on faith has fractured in the aftermath, she opens up about the internal struggle to understand seemingly senseless tragedies. Her honesty lays bare a common experience for those grieving, the desperate yet often futile search for answers when faced with life’s most devastating questions.

The actress shares how her previous understanding, that investing love and support would always yield positive outcomes, has been upended with Ian’s passing. This revelation speaks to the complex, unpredictable nature of mental health struggles and the immeasurable burden they can place on individuals and loved ones.

Through her grief, King clings to the enduring presence of her son. “He was pure joy and pure light,” she recalls, offering an intensely personal look at the depths of her bond with Ian. Her willingness to address the stark contrast between his positive disposition and inner struggles highlights how those suffering from depression can often mask their pain. Her candor serves as a reminder of the importance of breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health and encouraging those in need to reach out for help.

Perhaps most poignantly of all, King reflects, “If I was told, ‘Do you want to do this again, but it’s going to be exactly the same?’ I would say yeah, just because of how much Ian gives me.” This declaration speaks volumes about the enduring nature of a mother’s love, even amidst overwhelming sorrow. It’s a testament to the strength she continues to draw from their connection, a connection that transcends time and space.

Rather than succumbing to despair, King reveals how she’s redefining her connection with Ian. She describes the process of learning to understand the evolving, spiritual nature of their bond even in his physical absence. This struggle to find solace and connection in the intangible will resonate deeply with anyone who has lost a loved one.

As she navigates this new chapter of her life, it’s clear that Ian’s memory continues to shape both her professional trajectory and her personal growth. From her Oscar-winning role in “If Beale Street Could Talk” to her critically acclaimed directorial debut with “One Night in Miami…”, King details the profound impact Ian had on her career choices. His influence on these projects, a desire to make Ian feel seen and to explore the multifaceted experiences of Black men, adds another layer of complexity and poignant beauty to her accomplishments.

Ntianu Obiora
+ posts

Ntianu Obiora is a versatile creative professional with over a decade of experience in publishing, marketing, communications, and digital strategy. She is the Online Editor at THEWILL DOWNTOWN