Soulmates Don’t Always Wear Rings
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- March 12, 2024
Growing up, like many girls, I was fed a steady diet of pop culture that glamorised romantic love. Shows like Sex And The City promised a swirling vortex of relationships, passion, and enviable outfits. Yet, as I grew older, I realised that the greatest loves of my life weren’t the men I’d dated, but the women who have been my fierce and unwavering allies.
Falling into a deep friendship isn’t always about a grand “meet-cute.” It’s a slow burn, a feeling of recognition that blossoms into something profound. With my best friend Agi, it was the giddy realisation that we shared a love of dark humour, an innate understanding of each other’s silences. We invented a world of our own that was more vibrant and fun because we were in it together. Our friendship redefined what a meaningful connection could be. It proved that friendships could be as deep and complex as any other love, full of beauty and challenge in equal measure. We weren’t afraid to be our real, sometimes messy selves; we’ve held mirrors up to each other during hard times and celebrated each other fiercely in the good. Through it all, we’ve navigated the shifts that come with growth, both individually and within our bond. This journey of evolving together, witnessing one another become stronger and wiser, has only deepened our connection. She’s not just a friend; she’s a soulmate, a constant reminder that the most profound love stories can unfold beyond the realm of romance.
Ah, my HBS girls. We navigated the often treacherous waters of girlhood together. Remember the days of giggling over crushes, decoding the latest teen slang, and sporting questionable fashion choices? Through it all, we were each other’s cheerleaders and confidantes. Now, years later, I have the immense privilege of witnessing them blossom into phenomenal women and mothers. They’re juggling careers, fierce love for their families, and that same infectious sense of fun we had back in the day. What about Fiyin and I, who share a bond built on mutual respect and a shared commitment to living our best lives? With her, I feel seen and challenged, always encouraged to strive higher. Idara’s friendship, while at times taking us through difficult terrain, has been a lesson in growth, accountability, and forgiveness, and watching her build the life of her dreams gives me so much joy. Meme, she’s like a burst of radiant energy, a road trip with the windows down and a killer soundtrack–pure, uninhibited freedom. Soft and strong in equal measure, a beautiful paradox of a woman. Toma is the brilliant, tenderhearted little sister I never had. We protect each other, laugh until we cry, and share secrets only sisters can understand. Karina, with her quiet wisdom and open heart, is a sanctuary for those around her. Her capacity for holding space, for listening without judgment, seems boundless. She gives so effortlessly of herself, so generously, that it makes me ache with the knowledge that I could never truly repay her kindness. But there’s a fierce joy in trying. Even across oceans, Lola carries a quiet strength in her heart. I know that when the world feels overwhelming, her understanding and support will be a lifeline. All these women, and so many more, illuminate different facets of my soul. They’ve taught me about laughter, loyalty, resilience…and the infinite forms that love can take. Together, they’re the authors of the greatest love story I’ll ever know.
The real test, the thing that sets platonic love apart, is the way it holds steady in the hard times. They say romantic love is finding someone to build a life with. But what about those who help you rebuild a life when it feels shattered? My friends have weathered storms with me: Breakups, depression, and grief. They meet me in the depths, not with platitudes, but with an unwavering belief that I’ll find my way back to the light.
It’s not that romantic love can’t be beautiful. But shouldn’t we elevate the life-affirming power of our female bonds? Those friends who run you a bath when heartbreak feels impossible to face, who coax you out of your shell on bad days, whose love isn’t contingent on a ring or a shared surname.
We talk about finding our “person.” I’ve stopped looking for one. I’ve found an entire constellation.
These women have expanded my sense of what’s possible and made me a braver, kinder, freer version of myself. We navigate heartbreak, career triumphs, and the sheer absurdity of adulting together. Isn’t that the most romantic thing of all?
Ntianu Obiora is a versatile creative professional with over a decade of experience in publishing, marketing, communications, and digital strategy. She is the Online Editor at THEWILL DOWNTOWN
