Anyone who knows me is aware of how much I love music. In our life together I may have even shared a couple of songs with you. There’s something about it being able to describe indescribable feelings and emotions. Listening to music is a pleasurable activity, in part due to the release of dopamine; and Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is a neuropsychologist agrees with me. She believes that music directly impacts the limbic system, pleasure centre, and bonding centre of the brain. Chores with or without music? I’m sure most would choose with music and if you didn’t, that’s ok too. And it doesn’t have to be super loud but having it gently breathing in the background helps keep you focused—at least for me. It wasn’t until I heard a ‘kiss and tell’ recommend it during sex that I understood music and sex are family.

Before then all the sex I had seen was on MBC 2 and Goldfinger, and it was through my brother’s fingers. He either forced me to my room or changed the station. The dopamine released when listening to music heightens arousal and elevates a sexual interlude when music and sex are combined in one moment.

After this new knowledge, everyone who played music on a hot afternoon, right after he had just ushered a girl into his apartment, was an alleged fornicator until proven otherwise. And because I was in my musician friend’s apartment most times, I got to witness a lot of that. His home advantage offered him an abundance of prep time. I would create playlists with R’n’B songs that had the same beats per minute (BPM). I also threw in some of his songs as a courtesy for letting me stay so long and he got to brag to his orbiting female visitors. And somehow, every time he had a girl over there was either power supply or the generator was in a good mood. Whereas in my case, I wasn’t so lucky. It wasn’t until I had left school that I was able to harness the sexual powers of music. It was some months after I had left the university and a few months to my NYSC program. I had just met this girl who had something called an unassuming derriere. She had a very tight figure so you never noticed what she was packing on her backside until she walked past you or in my case, was stark naked.

She had paid me a visit and the gears of the ‘Netflix and chill’ were turning. I suggested we skip to the chill part of the exercise and she solemnly obliged. Burna Boy’s African Giant album is on repeat and our tongues are gracefully intertwined. One minute I’m sliding off her silk panties, the next, I’m tugging on her hair. After successfully distracting myself by mouthing a couple of tracks, a few rhythmic thrusts here and there, I bested my usual score. Getting her “I really had fun today. Maybe we can do this tomorrow?” text was all the evidence I needed of this new achievement I had just unlocked and one I’ll keep using.

There’s more to music than just cloaking the lovemaking in an environment of roommates or family members. It has a psychological impact on relationships with sex. Having sex while listening to music can lower inhibitions. The experience of listening to music is spontaneous and liberating. Consequently, some individuals may experience higher levels of sexual pleasure after letting go of sexual inhibitions. Furthermore, music has shown to be effective in reducing stress, which can interfere with sexual pleasure and arousal.

Movements can be influenced by the rhythms in music. Good music beats can enhance performance and increase satisfaction. It is particularly useful for people who have had problems with movement in the past. By introducing music into the sexual environment, you can increase more than physical arousal.

If you have a low sexual drive, music can set the mood and get things going. Music can provide a distraction from negative thoughts, such as those about body image or performance, and it can curb nervousness. In addition to distracting a person, music can help them concentrate on a particular task. And what lover wouldn’t want their partner to be focused on them?

Tilewa Kazeem
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