Since the first human took his first breath, everything has had two sides: good and bad, truth and lies, real and fake. You pick the story that appeals to you the most at the time and run with it. When it comes to bedroom relations and orgasms though, the pendulum usually swings to the fake-it side for most women. That doesn’t mean that men don’t fake it as well but unlike women, it’s harder for obvious reasons.

According to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, 25 per cent of males and 50 per cent of women in a group of college students feigned to experience orgasm. When asked if they have faked orgasm during vaginal intercourse, 28 per cent of men and 67 per cent of women claimed they had.

The numbers don’t lie, but when women are questioned, “Did you orgasm?” They’ll lie 7 out of 10 times—sorry, James or John. But why do women lie, can’t they just answer honestly and truthfully when they’re asked? “No, I didn’t orgasm.” For the most part, sex isn’t just sex for most women. Coitus is usually preceded by an emotional attraction, no matter how minor. For men, though, it’s mostly about physical attractiveness, sex conquest, and then preserving the “conqueror” title. If most women were honest in the bedroom, fragile egos would be destroyed, bridges would be burned, and the gist would either be corrupted or worse, the girl would be called unsavoury things when it was narrated to the boys. For the most part, some men are unconcerned about whether or not a lady orgasms. I’ll use the response of a friend (I’ll call her Lilia) who narrated her fake orgasm episode to me to illustrate my point. “It was more like everyone should hustle for their own orgasm.

We kind of discussed once or twice but it didn’t matter because he still had sex the way he knew how and everything I said during sex hours fell on deaf ears.” Even though it is a practice that is common among men in the bedroom, this selfish aproach has gone on for years. But women are not the only ones who have had to practice sexual simulation as we will soon come to find out from my friend from last week, Dorian.

Dorian

Looking at her exquisite figure laid out on the sheets, it was becoming increasingly hard for him to hold on to his one-year celibacy. At this point, he was holding on by his fingertips and they couldn’t hold up to the curvaceous pressure he was in. This was the first time she had dressed scandalously while paying him a visit.

Kemi

Her tactics had worked, as seen by the bulge in his pants and his frantic lip biting. She had him exactly where she wanted him. She has had a crush on him for a long time, but he never made an effort to court her when she visited or stayed the night at his house. She’d spend time sweating it out at the gym to maintain her figure since he said he preferred them ‘curvaceous and hot.’ Although she only wore clothes that revealed her physical features when paying him visits, it seemed like he didn’t see her, it was almost asif she was invincible to him. But today he saw her, he saw all of her.

Dorian

He was a terrible philanderer before they met over a year ago. He followed everything in skirts, but not exclusive to skirt wearers alone, and he lived dangerously. Things took a turn for the worst after he contracted a terrible STI from one too many unprotected hookups. His doctor urged him to refrain from coitus for a few months to restore sensitivity to his penis and allow his body to recuperate. He met Kemi at a grocery shop during his sexual break. In his older life, she was the type of girl that tickled his fancy but he was sexually handicapped so he was forced to get to know her.

Kemi

They met at a grocery shop about a year ago and have kept in touch since then. They had talked for hours on the phone, texted virtually every day, and spent meaningful time together, but they hadn’t progressed past second base. She began to do things that she would not normally do for a man. She’d never known what it was like to not be desired by a man before. She had men from all walks of life falling head over heels for her since her undergraduate days since she was beautiful and endowed. But no one knew her as well as he did. She had spent some nights longing for him, even masturbating to his face and voice. She had fallen in love for the first time in a long time, and today she was willing to use any means of seduction to get a taste of his penis.

Them

He wasn’t ready to defy his doctor, but if he (the doctor) had seen Kemi, he might reconsider. Not many men would have lasted this long without ripping her clothes off her body and devouring her —with her consent of course. Kemi yanked the duvet from the bed, revealing her toned body in all its splendour. ‘F— it,’ he grumbled before giving in. He hurriedly grabbed a sheath and pushed it up to his penis’ trunk before sliding it into Kemi. As she felt him thrust inside her, she let out a sigh of relief. She had climaxed twice in less than seven minutes. Every molecule in her being wanted him, now that she had him inside her, her body submitted.

Dorian on the other hand, couldn’t feel the sensation in his penis. Having gone so long without intercourse and his terrible relationship with condoms, things weren’t going as he imagined. But Kemi’s eyes beamed with pleasure and her pedicured nails dug deeper into his skin with every thrust. She was edging closer to the big O and D was very far from. At this point, his best bet was to pull off an Oscar award performance and fake it. Cloaked behind her moans, he let out simulated groans and fell into her blossom exasperated. He then pulled off the empty sheath and balled it.

Tilewa Kazeem
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