When I heard the term ‘pillow princess’ at first, I thought it had something to do with a princess and her pillows. I mean, why not? A princess having a ole pile of pillows isn’t something unheard of. I couldn’t be more wrong.

This word stemmed from the LGBTQIA+ community before making its way into the heterosexual community’s language to refer to women who are ‘lazy’ in bed. It actually means someone who prefers to sit back and let their lover do all of the effort during sex. It typically refers to someone who receives oral sex regularly but does not reciprocate. The adorable sorts who just lay there and let things happen to them– generally but not limited to oral sex. The phrase is frequently used interchangeably with another term used by certain males known as star-fishing, gotten from the starfish sleeping position. ‘Pillow’ refers to someone docile, while ‘princess’ is a nickname for someone who desires special treatment, and we can all agree the latter describes many women.

Before now, some of you might be hearing this for the first time, unaware that such a classification even existed. Well, that’s because it isn’t something you would find in your regular dictionary. The phrase initially appeared in the 1990s and spread to heterosexual communities around 2010. It is safe to say it never caught on in Nigeria, thanks to the strict laws around same-sex relationships. But thanks to pop culture, that has slightly changed over the years. So as a lady, how do you know if you are a pillow princess?

Receiving More Than You Give

It’s sexy time; you lie in bed and splay your legs apart for your partner to go down on you till you climax. After that, it’s straight sex and then to bed. On occasions that you give him fellatio, you couldn’t care any less. You are unbothered and uninterested in satisfying him orally. You just want to do it as fast as possible and get up from under him.

As Long As You’re Lying Down

To you, sex shouldn’t be stressful, and neither should it be tedious. Your sexual position of choice is missionary and others that involve you staying in the napping position. You are okay to let your partner into you from behind without necessarily forcing you to move too much. Like a pillow, you just lay there, receiving it.

Comfort is Key

Hardcore sex is a no no. You are ready to call out any slight discomfort if it doesn’t fit your relaxation scheme. Usually, during sex, things like muscle cramps, back pains or an accidental bump on the headboard are sometimes inevitable but not to you; you simply want to relax and be served penis.

More Talk Less Action

You’re a skilled dirty-talker. What you lack in mobility, you make up for in talking dirty. Your moans and words of encouragement are enough to make *them* practically climax on the spot while your partner is toiling and tonguing away. That, in and of itself, is a magical ability.

In retrospect, when I met a pillow princess (Vivian), I had no idea who she was; I just thought she just didn’t like returning the favour (if you know what I mean.) But putting everything into perspective now, it all makes sense. Vivian and I met during an assignment in Calabar. She was in my team, and she always wore a look that said ‘please don’t talk to me’ behind her wide framed sunglasses. She wasn’t buxom like most ladies I’m usually attracted to. She was petite with cherry-sized breasts, but that didn’t make them any less attractive to gawk at. Her face was also another thing I enjoyed looking at through the crowd of my other platoon members. One sunny day, I got my opportunity and took my shot.

Luckily for me, I caught her without her glasses on, and I could finally see her entrancing eyes. I had enough courage to ask for her number, and she gave it to me. In less than two days, we were joined by the hip. The whole group and our coordinator thought we were together, and we never tried to dissuade them. We just enjoyed each other’s company. But that was nipped in the bud when COVID struck and we were all forced to go home less than a week into the program. It was a bittersweet feeling for both of us because although we wanted to return home, we were devastated by the uncertainty that would plague our newfound friendship. After we went our separate ways, we kept in touch, calling and texting each other throughout the lockdown.

Seven months later, the restrictions eased up, and I would see Vivian again. Our hearts had grown fonder, and like the Sahara’s dunes crave water, we couldn’t wait for our bodies to collide. The hairs on my skin stood at the thought of her skin on mine. The time apart had made us yearn for each other, thirst for each other, and we hoped to quell that thirst with each other. We finally met up, and we couldn’t get our hands off each other. I tossed her petite frame onto the bed and then rushed to take off my clothes, and she took off hers. I stood close to the edge of the bed while taking in the view. Her statuesque body looked like a living, breathing renaissance masterpiece as my eyes wandered around her body. I crawled towards her, ran my hand through her braids and planted a kiss on her lips. She noticed my tumescence, grabbed it and held it in her hands as it grew harder and harder with her touch. I pushed her back to the bed, took a journey from her lips to her belly, and settled between her inner thighs. She spread her legs, and as you can imagine, she was already dripping wet and taking slow, deep breaths. Her perky breasts heaved up and down like tides. There I was, staring at her shaven lady bits in all its glory, and I didn’t waste any second before enveloping it with my lips. I fiddled with her clitoris like you would a lollypop till she climaxed in my mouth. As I lay down beside her, hoping she would get up and repay the favour, I was surprised that she didn’t get up. It turned out she didn’t like the idea of having my penis in her mouth. On the sex front, she didn’t want to rush into anything so quickly, so I just laid there, feeling very sexually defrauded.

Tilewa Kazeem
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