Sometimes You Are The Problem, But You Are Also The Solution

Last week, I spoke about how we need to take responsibility for the roles we play in the misfortune that sometimes happens in our lives. However, acknowledging the problem and taking accountability is only half the solution. Once you identify it, that’s when the real work truly starts: Self-reflection and introspection.

Remember, if you want a healthy life, you have to be willing to do healthy things. So the real question is, are you ready for that work? Are you willing to do what it takes to get the solutions you require and deserve? And if your answer is no and you aren’t, that’s also fine; whenever you wake up is your morning. No one can force you to see it; no one can force you to be ready. You have to be fully convinced of something before acting on it with the conviction required to make a change. At least, that’s what I think from what I’ve experienced myself and through observation.

We need to realise we have agency and power over our thoughts, actions, and choices. While external factors undoubtedly influence our circumstances, our responses to these factors shape our reality. Recognising our role as both the problem and the solution empowers us to take proactive steps towards growth and flourishing.

I’m no expert, but here are some ways we can navigate this journey:

Self-awareness And Mindfulness: Understanding yourself at every level is so important. Self-awareness allows us to recognise patterns of behaviour that may be holding us back and empowers us to make conscious choices aligned with our values and aspirations. Being present in each moment allows us to break free from destructive thought patterns and respond to challenges with clarity and composure, but most of all, without judgement.

Accountability And Continuous Learning: Accepting accountability fosters personal growth and strengthens relationships by building trust and integrity. Embrace a growth mindset and view challenges as opportunities for learning and development. Seek knowledge, acquire new skills, and remain open to feedback and constructive criticism.

Self-Care And Setting Boundaries: We should prioritise activities that replenish our energy. Learn to say no to commitments or relationships that drain your energy and prioritise activities that align with your priorities and values.

Seeking Support And Practicing Empathy And Compassion: Whether through therapy, coaching, or support groups, seeking support from others can provide valuable insights, encouragement, and guidance on your journey. Recognise that everyone is fighting their own battles, and treat yourself and others with empathy and compassion.

We can go deeper into each point later, but I hope you understand that by embracing personal responsibility and implementing some of these suggestions, we can wade through life’s challenges with resilience, integrity, and grace. Remember, we are the architects of our destiny, and by cultivating self-awareness, mindfulness, and empathy, we can unlock our full potential and flourish in our unique life experiences without causing harm to ourselves or others.

In other news…

SGD Spotlight

Life update of the week:
I just joined the Brands and Communications team at Nosak Group this year, and I’m super thrilled to be starting this new journey. Follow me on Instagram with @ekiogunbor for more updates!

Ms. Eki Ogunbor has been appointed Lifestyle Editor at Large of THEWILL DOWNTOWN.
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Eki Ogunbor has a Vogue Fashion Certificate from Conde Nast College of Fashion & Design and also attended Central Saint Martins, London College of Fashion and the University of Kent. Eki headed the Design Operations at a top Nigerian womenswear fashion brand before developing her own brand, KISARA. She is the Editor-At-Large at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.

Ms. Eki Ogunbor has been appointed Lifestyle Editor at Large of THEWILL DOWNTOWN.

About Author / Eki Ogunbor

Eki Ogunbor has a Vogue Fashion Certificate from Conde Nast College of Fashion & Design and also attended Central Saint Martins, London College of Fashion and the University of Kent. Eki headed the Design Operations at a top Nigerian womenswear fashion brand before developing her own brand, KISARA. She is the Editor-At-Large at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.

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