Last week, I wrote about forgiveness. The timing, intentionally or not, coincided with Mother’s Day. While it was a day to celebrate motherhood in all its complexity, I found myself spiralling inward, unearthing pieces of myself that still required attention.

 

Not everything we inherit is tangible. Some legacies are emotional. Some wounds are unspoken. And some gifts are wrapped in hindsight.

 

This past week, I whispered an apology to myself:

‘I’m sorry for the things I didn’t know, now that I know.’

Hindsight is a beautiful teacher. It’s the light that casts shadows on the parts of us we once thought were whole. With it comes a kind of gentle pain — a realisation of missed moments, words unsaid, or choices that could have carved different paths. But growth, I have come to learn, is what we do with hindsight. It’s not just the ability to see the past more clearly — it’s the decision to act differently going forward.

Isn’t that what it means to grow? To meet your former self with compassion, not judgment. To recognise flaws without shame, and to build a future with the bricks of failure, not in spite of them.

 

I once believed growth was loud — something bold and obvious. I’ve since learned it’s often silent. It shows up in the pause before a reaction, the softness in a boundary set, the grace in choosing peace over pride.

 

Growth is the quiet strength to apologise without condition.

It’s the humility to say, ‘I didn’t know better — but now I do.’

It is foresight birthed from reflection.

There is something sobering about ageing. The older I get, the more I see life for what it is — fleeting, fragile, frequently unfair. But also bursting with moments that demand presence. It throws curveballs so sudden; you’re left breathless. And yet, somehow, there’s always a morning after. A chance to choose differently. To choose consciously. To live intentionally.

 

The #Unshakable mindset, at its core, is not perfection — it’s presence.

It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself at any given moment, knowing that version will evolve. That my “best” may look different from yours — and that’s okay.

 

Growth honours our individuality. It is not a race; it is not linear. Sometimes, it’s two steps forward, one heartbreaking step back. Sometimes, it’s standing still, trying to breathe.

But each time we choose to rise, each time we choose kindness, courage, curiosity — we grow.

 

Forgiveness, last week’s word, was the soil.

Growth? That’s the bloom.

They’re twins in this alphabet of healing — deeply intertwined, equally essential. You cannot have one without the other.

And just like faith and fragility co-exist, so do flaws and fortitude.

We often speak of faith as unwavering — a mighty thing. But sometimes, faith is a whisper. Sometimes, it’s a shaky breath, a fragile thread you’re holding onto in the dark. Fragility doesn’t cancel out faith. In fact, it makes it more profound.

To believe — despite the trembling.

To hope — even when it hurts.

To trust — while acknowledging the cracks.

That’s not weak. That’s holy.

 

Likewise, flaws and fortitude walk hand in hand. We think strength looks like perfection. But real fortitude is forged in the fire of our imperfections. It’s in the scars we carry, the mistakes we’ve made, the wounds we’ve survived.

Our flaws are not the absence of strength — they are evidence of it.

Every lesson learned, every misstep owned, every moment of vulnerability embraced — that’s fortitude in motion.

To say, ‘this is where I was wrong, but this is also where I got back up’?

That is #Unshakable!

Growth, then, is not becoming flawless.

It’s becoming fearless in our honesty.

It’s honouring the fragility and the faith, the flaws and the fight.

This week, I ask you:

Where in your life have you grown quietly?

Who do you need to thank — or forgive — for the version of yourself you’re becoming?

What do you need to outgrow to honour who you are now?

Growth is sacred. Personal. Unfinished. But it is always, always worth it.

 

Next week, we’ll explore a word that holds both heartbreak and healing.

A word that challenges how we define safety, stillness, and strength.

A word that might just surprise you.

Any guesses?

Let’s just say… it starts with H.

Until then, keep growing. Keep choosing you.

‘See’ you next week.

 

Sally Chiwuzie
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IG Handle: @unshakable.is.a.state.of.mind