Confusion is the best word to describe the phase I am currently in. Never in my life have I been this indecisive. It’s hard to believe, but both of them were the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Kelvin and I started as friends until I noticed I was beginning to develop feelings for him. We had been friends for about three years, and during that time, I got to know the kind of person he was. Kelvin is kind and selfless and makes me laugh even when I don’t feel like it. When he smiles, it lights up his whole face, and I couldn’t help but fall for him. He’s the kind of person who would drop everything to be there for you. I always thought he was too good to be true.

But then there’s Tobi. I met him at a work conference. We were seated next to each other, and what started as polite conversation turned into a whirlwind connection I didn’t see coming. Tobi has this air of confidence around him that’s hard to ignore. He’s ambitious, driven, and has a way with words that make you believe you can conquer the world. While Kelvin’s energy is calm and steady, Tobi’s is fiery and exciting. Being with him made me feel alive in a way I couldn’t explain.

For months, I convinced myself I could handle this. I told myself it was just a phase and that my feelings for one of them would eventually fade. But that hasn’t happened. Instead, my feelings for both of them grew stronger, leaving me stuck in a web of emotions I couldn’t untangle.

The problem is, I can’t have both. It wouldn’t be fair to them, and it’s starting to take a toll on me too. There are nights I lie awake, wondering how I got into this mess. How do you choose between two people who mean so much to you? How do you pick between steady love and exhilarating passion?

Kelvin has started dropping hints about wanting something more serious. He’s even mentioned introducing me to his family. I know he sees a future with me, and the thought of breaking his heart makes me feel like a terrible person. But then there’s Tobi, who’s been hinting about taking a trip together. He talks about all the places he wants us to explore, and I can see how much he values having me by his side. The thought of losing him is equally painful.

There have been close calls, too. Like the time Kelvin called me while I was out with Tobi. I had to make an excuse about being out with friends, and the guilt was overwhelming. Or the time Tobi texted me saying he missed me while I was at Kelvin’s place. I’ve been walking on eggshells, trying to keep them from finding out about each other, but I know this can’t go on forever.

I’ve considered talking to someone about it, but who would understand? My friends would probably judge me, and I can’t risk Kelvin or Tobi hearing about it from someone else. So, I’ve been carrying this burden alone, hoping the answer will come to me somehow.

Whenever I think I’ve made up my mind, something happens that pulls me back. Kelvin’s random acts of kindness remind me of how safe and loved I feel with him. But then Tobi’s adventurous spirit makes me wonder if I’d be settling for less if I didn’t choose him. It’s a constant back and forth that leaves me emotionally drained.

They deserve honesty, and I owe it to myself to make a decision. But the truth is, I’m still confused. How do you choose between two people who each bring out different parts of you? How do you say goodbye to someone who’s been such a big part of your life?

One thing is clear, though – I need to decide soon. If Kelvin and Tobi ever find out about each other, it would break their trust completely, and I’d lose them both. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take. So here I am, torn between two incredible men, knowing that whatever choice I make, my life will never be the same.

Dorcas Akintoye
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Dorcas Akintoye is a versatile writer with a passion for beauty, fashion, relationships, and culinary delight. With a keen eye for detail and a passion for storytelling, she adds a touch of elegance to every topic she explores. She is a writer at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.