6 Effective Ways to Deal With Paperclipping
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- October 4, 2024
People have to deal with many new phrases and behaviours in today’s dating world. Among these behaviours is “paperclipping.” If someone has ever returned to your life just when you were beginning to move on, only to vanish again not long after, you’ve probably been “paperclipped.” When someone who isn’t interested in a committed relationship continues coming back to check if you’re still accessible to them, it’s known as paperclipping. It can be emotionally taxing, perplexing, and frustrating. We’ll walk you through six practical strategies for handling paperclipping.
(1) RECOGNISE THE BEHAVIOUR FOR WHAT IT IS
Understanding that paperclipping is a type of emotional manipulation is the first step towards combating it. Paperclipping indicates a lack of genuine interest in establishing a connection. Instead, someone who paperclips would prefer to have you as a backup plan in their “back pocket”. It is better to emotionally distance yourself from someone once you realise their actions are motivated by their need for approval or control rather than by you. Knowing the pattern lets you resist being drawn in again when they make contact. If you know what their real motivations are, you won’t be taken by surprise.
(2) SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
Setting firm boundaries comes next after you’ve identified the behaviour. Decide what you can and cannot handle. For example, you should choose whether to reply to someone who continues showing up in your life through casual messages or likes on social media. If you decide to respond, be brief and direct. When they choose to turn up, don’t initiate extensive talks with them or give them the appearance that you value their presence. You can keep control over your mental health by setting clear limits.
(3) COMMUNICATE DIRECTLY
Consider confronting the behaviour directly if you’re tired of the back and forth and feel at ease doing so. It’s possible to express your feelings to them about their actions. You could say, for instance, “I’ve noticed that you reach out occasionally, but it never seems to lead to anything substantial,” or say something like, “I want a more reliable relationship.” Occasionally, being straightforward can result in clarity. It offers the other person the option to either move on and become more reliable or to back off and let you move on.
(4) FOCUS ON SELF-CARE
It might be emotionally draining to deal with paperclipping. In these kinds of situations, it’s critical to prioritise your well-being. Spending time with friends and family, working out, or taking up a hobby you love can make you feel good and joyful. Emotional resilience is developed when self-care is prioritised. This strength makes refusing to interact with someone who isn’t genuinely interested in you easy. Always prioritise your happiness and mental well-being.
(5) CUT OFF CONTACT IF NECESSARY
It could be time to break off all contact if the behaviour persists despite your attempts to set clear boundaries and have direct conversations. Depending on the social networking platform, this can entail removing their contact information, unfollowing or blocking them, or simply not answering their messages. Even though it may sound drastic, there are instances when maintaining your emotional distance is vital. It enables you to get over the hurt, move on, and concentrate on the people who appreciate having you around. Always remember that you do not need to put up with someone who causes you worry or inconsistency.
(6) SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
One of the best strategies to prevent paperclipping is to concentrate on building mutually beneficial relationships. Be in the company of people who are dependable, consistent, and eager to establish a sincere connection. Spend time and energy with people who make you feel important and cherished. This enhances your general well-being and makes it simpler to recognise and avoid harmful habits like paperclipping in the future. You won’t have room for people who aren’t sincere about being a part of your life when surrounded by supportive relationships.
CONCLUSION
Although dealing with paperclipping can be difficult, you can protect yourself from emotional manipulation. Communication is important, but if it doesn’t work, don’t be scared to break up and move on. In the end, put a high priority on wholesome connections and surround yourself with those who respect you for who you are. Never forget that you deserve consistent, sincere, and satisfying relationships. Never accept anything less.
Dorcas Akintoye is a versatile writer with a passion for beauty, fashion, relationships, and culinary delight. With a keen eye for detail and a passion for storytelling, she adds a touch of elegance to every topic she explores. She is a writer at THEWILL DOWNTOWN.
